The Ultimate Guide To Flight Etiquette: Tips From A Flight Attendant

Between my job as a flight attendant and my solo travel adventures, I take nearly a hundred flights a year, from Amsterdam to the beaches of Los Angeles, to street food in Bangkok and tapas in Barcelona. And I understand that squeezing into a cramped seat for a 12-hour flight is not the highlight of the journey.

Flight etiquette (or, as I like to call it, flight decorum) often seems to vanish somewhere between check-in and takeoff, because, well, emotions run high in airports. But just like on the ground, getting along up in the air takes a bit of teamwork. 

When you’re sealed into a flying metal tube with 400 strangers at 30,000 feet, a little courtesy goes a very long way. As flight attendants, we’re trained to keep things smooth. But truthfully? We’d much rather spend the flight serving smiles than playing referee.

We’ll go over everything I’ve seen in my 11+ years of roaming the skies. I get asked this one hot topic all the time: “Can I recline my seat?”. But flight etiquette goes way beyond seat angles. 

It starts before you even step on board with smart packing, a little pre-flight prep, and common sense. Real in-flight etiquette? It starts with you.

Because who wants to kick off their well-deserved holiday with tension at 30,000 feet? All we want is to get comfy, binge some movies, catch some sleep, and magically wake up right before landing.

What is flight etiquette?

I like to think of flight etiquette as the unspoken rules that live somewhere between good manners and basic common sense. It’s the kind of behaviour that helps everyone—passengers and crew—have a smoother, more pleasant flight.

And I’ve seen my share of flight etiquette faux pas over the last decade. I hope that my post will help everyone out there have a pleasant flight for themselves and everyone around them.

I see the perspective from the cabin crew and as a passenger. If that isn’t a precious insight, I don’t know!

Travel essentials you’ll need for a smooth flight

Bringing the right travel essentials is a must for a smooth and comfortable flight. I’ve said it before, but a nice flight starts with proper preparation. To make the best of it, I always recommend bringing a well-packed in-flight bag.

Your in-flight bag holds the items you’ll need during the flight and can be stowed underneath the seat in front of you. Bring snacks, entertainment like books or download your favourite Netflix shows (in case the in-flight entertainment doesn’t work or sucks) and keep your electronics and toiletry bag in here too.

Do not underestimate noise-cancelling headphones, earplugs, a sleeping mask and a neck pillow.

I’ve written an entire post on long-haul travel essentials you need, so check it out!

Must-know flight etiquette rules everyone should follow

1. Be nice to the flight attendants

Delays? Annoying. Your favourite meal is gone? Total letdown. Does your hand luggage need to be checked in? Bummer. But none of that is the flight attendant’s fault, so please, don’t take it out on us.

A ‘hello’ or ‘good day’ is always appreciated when boarding.

Pulling, poking, or even friendly slapping to get our attention? Big no. Think of it this way. Would you poke a waitress or a Target employee? Would you like it if someone poked you? I surely hope not. 

You’d be surprised at how much this happens. I get poked or my apron gets pulled pretty much every flight, and it’s one of my biggest pet peeves. So what should you do?

A polite wave, raising your hand, or a simple ‘excuse me, ma’am’, works like a charm. Believe me, we’re trained for sounds like that. And if that fails, there’s always the call attendant button above your head or on your screen. 

2. Can I recline my seat on a flight?

The number of questions I get about reclining seats and the number of arguments I’ve seen over it on social media is wild. So, let’s put it out there once and for all: if your seat is designed to recline, yes, you can and should recline it.

Especially on long-haul night flights—being comfortable is the goal, right? Just remember to keep your seat upright during takeoff, landing, and meal service. 

If you need extra space, go for an exit row, bulkhead seat or upgrade to economy comfort.

If you’re going to recline your seat, do it with care. Don’t just slam it back and take a quick look behind to see if the person has finished eating, then ease it back slowly.

I’ve had people comment on my Instagram saying that reclining your seat is selfish. But as a flight attendant, let me set the record straight: it’s not. The seats are made to recline—so how about we all just recline together?

When it ever becomes an issue between passengers (which it does more often than you’d think), and a flight attendant has to step in, we’ll always back the fact that reclining is allowed. We’ve even had situations where someone got so upset they started kicking the seat in front of them (very mature, right?).

Moral of the story? Recline when it’s permitted, but do it with respect.

3. Be mindful of the people around you

Sitting elbow to elbow with a stranger isn’t exactly anyone’s idea of fun. Let’s not sugarcoat it. That’s why it’s even more important to be mindful of the people around you.

Treat your fellow passengers like your temporary neighbours: wear headphones if you’re watching a Netflix show, don’t eat strong-smelling foods, and try to keep your limbs in your little bubble.

Yes, space is tight, but that doesn’t mean the seat in front is a footrest, a drum kit, or a punching bag for your knees.

4. Pack an in-flight bag with flight essentials

I can’t stress enough how important it is to have a well-packed in-flight backpack (or a cute tote bag) with all your essentials. I prefer a backpack that fits under the seat in front of me, so everything is within arm’s reach.

Why? Because nothing’s worse than constantly having to get up to rummage through the overhead bin mid-flight. Save yourself the hassle and keep your go-to items close by.

What to pack? Think power cords, loads of snacks (seriously, loads), a water tumbler, an iPad for movies or series, a Kindle (or go old-school like me and bring a real book). 

Don’t forget a little makeup kit, personal hygiene essentials, cosy socks, a sleeping mask, earplugs and a neck pillow.

5. How to handle the ‘dreaded’ middle seat

Let’s be honest, the middle seat is the one nobody wants. It’s easily the most uncomfortable spot, especially when you’re sandwiched between two strangers. I’m not even tall, and I’ve never felt so awkward in my life as I did stuck in that middle seat.

There’s just something about it that feels extra cramped. You’re hyper-aware of every elbow, every inch of space, and trying so hard not to accidentally touch anyone. 

Here’s my golden rule: if you’re in the middle seat, you get the armrests. Period. The aisle and window seats already have their perks, so be kind, don’t hog the middle armrests too. Let the poor middle-seat warrior have something.

6. Personal hygiene is a must

Travelling is stressful. Airports are chaotic. Flying isn’t exactly a spa day. Most of us are rushing, sweating, and running to catch a connecting flight. I get it.

But imagine being stuck next to someone for 12 hours who smells like they ran a marathon… and then skipped the shower and hopped on a flight.

It might sound like a no-brainer, but basic hygiene matters on a plane. So please: shower before your flight, brush your teeth, swipe on some deodorant, and maybe pack a fresh shirt if it’s going to be a long travel day.

A little personal hygiene kit with a toothbrush, travel-size toothpaste, deodorant and maybe a light body spray is a must on a long-haul flight. And the best thing, during a long flight, there’s plenty of time to freshen up.

7. Don’t break the hand luggage rules

Every airline has its own rules when it comes to hand luggage, but honestly, there should be one universal rule: stick to them. I get that passengers want to avoid checked baggage fees, but that doesn’t mean hand luggage rules magically don’t apply. Those size and weight limits are there for a reason.

The overhead bin above your seat is not your personal locker. It’s shared space. Don’t be that person who takes over the entire overhead bin with a mountain of bags. And if it’s already full? You use up any other open space. 

If you’re bringing more than a trolley bag, stash your extra items under the seat in front of you. Not only is it more considerate to fellow passengers, but it also speeds up boarding, which means we can all take off without the luggage drama.

8. Help speed up the boarding process

Getting a plane ready for departure is a carefully timed series of procedures. The crew and ground staff follow a step-by-step process, and each step depends on the one before it being completed.

One of them is that everybody has to be seated and all luggage bins closed for us to continue. If one part of the puzzle isn’t done, we can’t call it ‘ready for takeoff’, which can lead to delays. And delays don’t just mess with your arrival time! They mess with people’s connections, transport plans, and, well… moods.

So here’s the deal: when you board, have your passport and boarding pass ready for inspection. Go straight to your seat, pop your trolley in the overhead bin, slide your inflight back under the seat, and sit down. Easy. Everything you need during the flight should be packed in your in-flight bag.

You’d be surprised how many passengers wander around like it’s a sightseeing tour until we have to kindly remind them to take their seats.

9. Take off your headphones when necessary

Headphones and earplugs are a plane essential. But when you’re talking to someone, especially the crew, take them off or at least pause the audio.

Between the constant white noise, chatty passengers, and the occasional baby crying, it’s already a challenge to hear each other on board. So help us out: make eye contact, take out your earbuds, and speak clearly. It’s a small gesture that makes a big difference.

And yes, this goes double when a flight attendant is speaking to you. Whether it’s about your meal choice, safety instructions, or asking you to fasten your seatbelt, being fully present (and able to hear) shows respect and ensures you don’t miss something important.

10. Bring your own snacks

Aeroplane food doesn’t exactly have a five-star reputation, but I believe it has improved significantly over the years. I’m not bothered by it. I eat it all the time when I’m working, from economy meals to business class.

That said, if you’re not a fan of the meals offered or your preferred option runs out, which unfortunately can happen, it’s always smart to bring your own food. It’s challenging to predict how many people will prefer pasta over chicken, and space on board is limited. 

Stick to easy snacks like granola bars, chips, popcorn, fruit, jerky, cut-up veggies, nuts, chocolate, crackers or a sandwich (eat that one early since it won’t be refrigerated). Cup noodles are also a classic, and you can ask the crew for hot water.

11. Don’t walk around barefoot

Who are these people walking around barefoot on a plane? Let’s all agree—it’s time to put a stop to this. Yes, the aircraft gets cleaned, but still… no one wants to see your bare feet, smell them, or accidentally make eye contact with your toes. Just no.

Besides the ick factor, there could be sharp objects on the floor, and we roll heavy carts down the aisle. You don’t want to risk losing a toe mid-flight.

And please don’t walk into the lavatory barefoot. I hate to break it to you, but that’s probably not water on the floor. Keep your shoes on for the lavatories and bring slippers or thick socks for the flight. Easy slip-ons are recommended. This isn’t your living room, friends.

12. Let’s talk about babies and children

A 12-hour flight is rough even for adults, so expecting kids to sit still the entire time? It’s a big ask, and we know that. Yes, your little ones can stretch their legs, play in a corner after the meal service, and you’re more than welcome to take them for a walk to the galley.

But a plane isn’t a playground. During meal service, when we’re pushing heavy carts down the aisle and walking around with hot coffee and tea, it’s hard to spot a small child crawling on the floor. For everyone’s safety (especially your child’s), keep them seated during those times.

True story: after meal service one day, I sat down in the galley to finally eat dinner myself. A parent showed up with their child, who started running in circles around me, slapping my legs while I was trying to eat. The parent just stood there. I had to politely explain that I was trying to eat and kindly ask her to keep her child with her. You’d think that would be common sense, right?

To make your life easier as a parent: book the family row if you’re travelling with a baby, so you can request a baby bassinet. Bring plenty of snacks, toys, books, an iPad and other entertainment to keep your little ones happy. Trust me, a bit of prep goes a long way.

13. Pre-order a meal if you have dietary restrictions

And if you have dietary restrictions, make sure to request a special meal when you book your ticket, either through the website or the app. If you don’t pre-order it, it won’t be on board. So if you’re gluten-free, vegan, or have other special dietary needs, pack snacks just in case. Better safe (and fed) than sorry.

An airplane has limited space, so we can’t just go with the flow and see who wants what and hope for the best. There are 300 passengers on a flight, and everything that happens is planned out, even the meals we serve on board.

14. Do not change nappies in your seat

If you’re travelling with a baby, please, for the love of all things hygienic, do not change nappies at your seat. I promise you, nobody wants to catch a whiff of a dirty diaper. Every plane has a lavatory with a fold-down changing table for a reason. Use it.

15. How to use the lavatory on a flight

Airplane lavatories are tiny, functional, and shared by hundreds of people, so a little etiquette goes a long way. Keep your visit short and efficient; this isn’t the time for a full skincare routine or 20 minutes scrolling TikTok.

Always lock the door properly (red means occupied, green means free) and leave it as clean as you’d like to find it. Don’t flush anything other than toilet paper, no wipes, nappies, or feminine products.

Wash your hands thoroughly; airplanes are germy enough without spreading extra around. Every lavatory door works differently, but trust me, there’s a sign or image that tells you how to open the door. Pay attention instead of randomly pulling and slapping the door.

Flying long-haul doesn’t have to feel like a test of endurance for you, the strangers next to you, or the crew. A little awareness, a bit of prep, and kindness can turn a stressful 12-hour journey into something, dare I say,  surprisingly enjoyable.

This is your guilt-free moment to do absolutely nothing. Binge an entire season of The White Lotus, flip through trashy magazines, slap on a hydrating face mask, sip that Chardonnay, and fully lean into your soft girl energy at 30,000 feet.

I adore my passengers. They’re kind, sweet, and thoughtful. But now and then, a little friction sneaks in. That’s normal. People are tired, stressed, and sometimes just trying to keep it together.

But after over a decade in the skies, I can promise you this. When we all show up with preparation, pre-vacation happiness and kindness, the flight becomes smoother for everyone.

*All opinions are my own and do not represent my airline